Talking Pictures

Rich’s Quickie: A mushy romantic comedy with raunchy sensibilities.
Go: I’ll admit I’m a fan of Drew Barrymore, and even the raunchiest of stuff that comes out of her mouth in this “Hangover” with heart is somehow adorable. Justin Long is a bit less charming in his role, but he’s believable enough; although he has competition for on-screen laughs with the likes of the supporting cast (including Jason Sudeikis, a pitch-perfect Christina Applegate and especially Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia). A flick that earns it’s R rating, Distance was a surprise, and funnier than I thought it would be given its romantic comedy roots.

The Distance: But those roots may be it’s only major flaw; it is predictable. Our couple getting together, coming apart and eventually getting back together is no surprise, and neither are some of its setups. But the cast more than makes up for the lack of surprises.

Movie Grade: B

Director: Nanette Burstein
Writer: Geoff LaTulippe

Rated R for sexual content including dialogue, language throughout, some drug use and brief nudity.

Rich’s Quickie: A solid performance by Clooney in a movie that is not your usual fare, and may suffer from inaccurate billing.

Now THAT’S America! My buddy Luke Hickman at thereelplace.com may have said it best; “For a movie in which not much happens, it’s still pretty tense!” George Clooney shows us a different side of himself in an assassin near the end of his career, with no future and no human connection in his life. A study of the life of a loner and lonely man, “The American” has few actual action scenes, and spends much of its time showing Clooney doing the solitary work of assembling a weapon in preparation for one last “job”. But normally oozing-with-charm Clooney is convincing as “Jack/Edward”, staring down the maw of the life his character has chosen; and his good looks totally undermine the elegance and flash of other, “look how cool it would be to be an assassin” movies.

Ya pinko! The action shot of Clooney in the poster art is about as fast-paced as this movie gets, and that may bug American audiences more accustomed to the action scenes in “The Expendables”. It also has quite the “European” ending, which also may not satisfy American audiences accustomed to everything being wrapped up in a bow at the end. But truth be told, it was the only ending his character’s story could have had, and “The American” is more of a character study than the action thriller it’s touted as being. Then again, what it lacks in action it makes up for in boobies.

Movie Grade: B

Director: Anton Corbijn
Writers: Rowan Joffe (screenplay), Martin Booth (novel)

Rated R for violence, sexual content and nudity.

Rich’s Quickie: The folks who enjoyed “The Blair Witch Project “ and “Paranormal Activity” will likely respond well to this one, too; but don’t include me in that number.

Firstly: Shot in ShakyVison! and brought to you in faux-documentary style, “The Last Exorcism” starts of well, following the exploits of a charlatan priest who has lost whatever faith he had, and now spends much of time ripping off his flock. It’s a clever idea; one that takes you behind the scenes and into the slight-of-hand used to deliver the goods during an exorcism, and into the justifications of those who would set such a stage. But when troubled evangelical minister Cotton Marcus (played by Patrick Fabian), comes across The Real Deal during the filming of his supposed last exorcism, his cheap tricks don’t wash and possibly unleash hell upon himself, his camera crew, and the family of Nell Sweetzer (a very flexible Ashley Bell), the afflicted young girl (isn’t it ALWAYS a young girl?) in question. The pacing and build-up is good; combining the slow-boil of the classic “The Exorcist”, the backwoods seclusion of “Deliverance” and the dark house of many creaks from “Halloween”, all in a market-friendly PG-13 package that goes easy on the crucifix.

Lastly: Too bad that literally the last few minutes, it goes so off the rails as to sour all that comes before it. Thus, it continues a series of similarly shot movies (such as “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity”) that wuss out in the end. Of course, if you liked those movies (or if you find something even remotely scary in the trailer for “Paranormal Activity 2”), then you will likely lap this up. Not me though, since I found all of those movies to be lackluster, and “The Last Exorcism” suffers from similar problems.

Movie Grade: C-

Director: Daniel Stamm
Writers: Huck Botko and Andrew Gurland

Rated PG-13 for disturbing violent content and terror, some sexual references and thematic material.

“‘Going the Distance” isn’t a bad romantic comedy, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good one either.

The film is basically a lackluster second-rate comedy with a few laughs, but nothing memorable or new.

I found the acting to be anemic and forced with Barrymoore not really giving herself to the role. Justin Long seems to be the better of the two, but that’s not saying much in this poorly constructed and surprisingly slow to boil comedy.

It gets a C- and is rated R

From the mind of Robert Rodriguez comes this spin off film from “Grindhouse” about an ex-Federale who launches a brutal rampage of revenge against a drug lord.

Or something like that.

Machete, played by the rough-hewn Danny Trejo, is the perfect anti-hero for a throwback film like this one. Trejo absolutely understands the film he’s in and plays each scene with hardened gusto, making Machete delightfully brutal and gory.

Also in the cast are Steven Seagal, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba and Don Johnson (whom the opening credit roll has fun with).

I don’t recommend a film like “Machete” to everyone, but for those who will understand its humor and tip-of-the-hat to the actors and plots of the late 60’s and 70’s “double feature” films, you’ll find it well done.

Machete gets a B- and is rated R.

…and so does this movie.

`Nuff said!

Jennifer Anniston and Jason Bateman team up for the romantic comedy “The Switch” in which Anniston plays Cassie, a woman whose biological clock is telling her it’s time to have a baby. So, she decides to conceive a child through artificial means. And goes about selecting a suitable donor.

Bateman plays Wally, her best friend, who is desperately in love with her, but is content to sit on the sidelines all the while keeping his feelings to himself.

When a donor (Patrick Wilson) is found, Wally in a drunken state makes a switch, and Cassie, unknowingly, becomes pregnant with the wrong “sample.”

Then Cassie moves away.

Seven years later she returns with her son in tow.

“The Switch” is a delightfully absurd, formula comedy that makes full use of its lead’s comedic talents. Both Anniston and Bateman’s characters are warmly likeable. She is outgoing and fun, he is neurotic and introspective. Yet both characters compliment each other in subtle ways.

In the end, the formula works.

“The Switch” gets a solid B grade and is rated PG-13.

I’ve always said what America needs is good satire. Unfortunately, Vampires Suck isn’t it.

Sure there are some laughs in this send up of the Twilight saga, but not enough to distract from the fact that this is just a one joke movie.

And that one joke wears very thin after 30 minutes.

Miss this one. It gets a D and is rated PG-13

“Scott Pilgrim Vs The World” is a wildly refreshing comic book look at relationships. In the film our hero, average milquetoast Scott Pilgrim, meets the girl of his dreams and must defeat her seven evil exes to win her heart.

Pilgrim is basically an “every man” who has to overcome his inadequacies and fears when examining his girlfriend’s past. Only in Pilgrim’s case, he actually has to go to battle.

The film is shot with a video game feel to it, as Pilgrim becomes stronger with every obstacle he overcomes. And with each defeat, the film’s sense of humor deepens as well.

I really enjoyed this film’s sense of itself, and I think you will too. It rates a B and is rated PG-13.

Bringing back those thick-necked heroes of the 80’s and 90’s was a terrific idea. Except in “The Expendables” this one-dimensional script (co-written by Sylvester Stallone) wastes every familiar name.

The film centers on a rag-tag bunch of over-the-hill soldiers of fortune who become the last best hope to overthrow a corrupt drug-dealing dictator in some Latin American country where we find out he’s just a puppet of a an ex-government agent who now is business for himself.

And although we’ve seen this plot a few times and have heard the age jokes a few times, there was something very cool about seeing all these guys in one action film together.

The problem with “The Expendables” is with the amount of violence Stallone poured into every frame. After a while it all becomes monotonous and under-whelming.

But as I said before – it’s nice to see all ‘the boys” back for a little nostalgia. “The Expendables” gets a C- and is rated R.