Talking Pictures

Bringing back those thick-necked heroes of the 80’s and 90’s was a terrific idea. Except in “The Expendables” this one-dimensional script (co-written by Sylvester Stallone) wastes every familiar name.

The film centers on a rag-tag bunch of over-the-hill soldiers of fortune who become the last best hope to overthrow a corrupt drug-dealing dictator in some Latin American country where we find out he’s just a puppet of a an ex-government agent who now is business for himself.

And although we’ve seen this plot a few times and have heard the age jokes a few times, there was something very cool about seeing all these guys in one action film together.

The problem with “The Expendables” is with the amount of violence Stallone poured into every frame. After a while it all becomes monotonous and under-whelming.

But as I said before – it’s nice to see all ‘the boys” back for a little nostalgia. “The Expendables” gets a C- and is rated R.

Julia Robert’s newest film is the ultimate chick flick. That’s not a bad thing.

Roberts takes on the role of “Eat Pray Love” author Liz Gilbert who, after a very unpleasant divorce and subsequent love affair, decides to go on a 1-year quest to find her self.

So she (of course) she heads to Italy, India and Bali to discover some truths about life, love and God. And because it’s impossible to find the truth about life in New York, Atlanta or Los Angeles. (And because Julia looks so good filmed against old ruins and exotic locations)

This travel log seems to touch into every woman’s deepest dream, to indulge and not feel guilty. Possibly the most erotic moments in the film (for most women) were the scenes shot in Rome and Naples of Roberts diving into her food which represented her character’s renewing her taste and passion for life.

In India she meets a troubled Texan, played by Richard Jenkins, whose “grumpy-yet-wise” personality challenges her to look within and not without to find spirituality and meaning in life.

Finally in Bali, Liz begins to put all the pieces of her broken life together with the aid of a wise man. It is there she ultimately finds love in the form of a broken hearted divorcee, played by Javier Bardam.

Unfortunately it is the film’s ending where the story loses its appeal. Liz, after her yearlong quest, has a better grasp of her inner self but somehow still falls back to square one.

Oh well, as the script repeats again and again, it’s the journey – not the destination that matters. And this journey, despite the ending, was overall an enjoyable one.

“Eat Pray Love” gets a B- and is rated PG-13.

It’s summer and time for another Will Farrell film. This time he’s a paperwork-pushing cop who enjoys his anonymity as a desk jockey. His partner is a hot shot want to be, played by Mark Wahlberg.

Even though the two are partners, they really don’t like each other but must work together.

Then, they discover a connection between a series of robberies and an elite businessman and off they go.

Will Farrell has a few over-the-top funny moments, but the film is blandly flat and without that spark of genius I so desperately want to see again in a Farrell comedy.

“The Other Guys” is a mildly funny buddy picture, but the movie is mostly forgettable.

“The Other Guys” gets a C- and is rated PG-13.

“Step Up 3-D” suffers from the delusion that if the dancing is good no one will mind the absolutely insipid script. It is a bad delusion to have.

The story is a wafer-thin plot about some street dancers who hole up in an abandoned warehouse and dance, dance, dance. The problem is the rent is due and the evil bank won’t give the kids a pass for a few weeks (even though their rent is 5 months past due) so they can win the Global Dance Challenge and get the prize money ($100,000.)

All of this is told in mind numbing detail about every half-hour or so, just to make sure the audience knows the plot. It is also shot in brain-aching 3-D so every dance move is jittery and smears across the screen in digital streaks.

Simply put, some films should not be shot in 3-D because they tend to distract from the subject matter instead of bring the audience into the story.

Step Up 3-D just can’t find any rhythm and trips on its own feet. It gets a D- and is rated PG-13.

Based on the 1998 French farce “The Dinner Game” as well as the stage play, “Dinner for Schmucks,” starring Steve Carell and Paul Rudd, is a wonderfully funny and touching story about caring and friendship.

Although Steve Carell is a bit over the top from time to time as a wide-eyed imbecile, he is perfectly counterbalanced by Paul Rudd’s stick-in-the-mud corporate ladder climber.

Overall “Dinner for Schmucks” is well worth the ticket in. It gets a B and is rated PG-13.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is an enjoyable romp with a tip of the hat to James Bond films and other spy films. Both kids and adults will enjoy the humor, action and gadgets as well as the satirical humor peppered throughout the movie.

For being a surprisingly fun summer film, I’m giving this one a B. It carries a PG rating for animal action and humor.

At first glance, Angelina Jolie’s latest film “Salt” is a rehash of the Bourne films with a bit of the “Fugitive” thrown in.

However, as the film progresses, the story gets sillier and sillier and more implausible as the film progresses. So much so, the audience is abruptly jarred from their suspension of belief and into the hard reality of “that just can’t happen!”

Jolie and co-star Liev Schreiber do well in their roles, with Schreiber doing the most credible work in this cat and mouse spy thriller.

But by the final reel, it’s just not enough to shake off the movie’s foolishness.

“Salt” is only average and deserves a C. It’s rated PG-13.

Let me begin by saying I have a place in my heart for a good sentimental love story. But “Charlie St. Cloud” isn’t one.

The film continuously hovers between being a sappy romance and a ghost story, but successfully never accomplishes either.

Unfortunately caught in between all this is Zac Effron, who is desperately trying to break out of his “High School Musical” persona and bite into meatier parts.

Effron is actually a good actor, but like a lot of good actors at the beginning of their careers, the parts offered them aren’t always good. Hopefully Effron will have better luck next time.

“Charlie St. Cloud” gets a D and is rated PG-13.

When it comes to portraying the best human beings can be, you can’t beat the lessons taught by the toys in Toy Story 3.

Back for a 3rd go round, Woody, Buzz and Jessie return in what just might be the summer’s best film.

In this new 3-D film, Andy is going off to college and the Toys are in a panic. Andy, it seems, has pretty much grown up and forgotten how to play with his old pals. Depressed and feeling useless, the toys try to figure out what’s next in their lives.

Before you know it, the toys are accidentally donated to a childcare facility and Buzz, Woody and the rest are at the mercy of the resident toys living there.

It is there the film really takes off and becomes (more than anything else) a “prison break” movie. And a pretty good one at that.

Pixar Animation is genus at bringing these toys to life in such a way you actually begin to think they’re real. The film is a perfect blend of humor, pathos and action presented in amazing 3-D animation.

Despite a slow start, the movie wins at every turn. Toy Story 3 gets an A and is rated G.

Although the location has changed from the original Karate Kid (1984) in this new version starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan, the theme remains the same.

The underdog learns from an unexpected master and finds his inner strength to defeat his oppressors. Along the way he leans a few valuable life lessons which will guide him on his path to adulthood.

The new Karate Kid is a film full of optimism and hope, and yet what makes the film work is by showing that all the characters have flaws and are dealing with their own pains and insecurities.

Jaden Smith not only does a believable job in the role of “Dre,” a kid uprooted from his home in Detroit and plopped down in China, but adds a depth of innocence behind the wisecracks. Smith, the son of Jada and Will Smith (who produced the movie) seriously has some acting chops of his own.

Jackie Chan’s portrayal of “Mr. Han,” (an apartment handyman who takes Dre under his wing), really shines in this re-imagining. His character has suffered a horrible tragedy. But as he begins to teach Dre, he also learns from his young student to overcome and rise above his self-induced unworthiness.

The Karate Kid is not a perfect film, it’s a bit too long (about 2 ½ hours), and its secondary characters are a bit to one-dimensional. But overall the film is worth your time to see.

It gets a B and is rated PG.