Talking Pictures

Rich’s Quickie: If you like Gladiator and/or Braveheart, you’ll probably like this. But if you like your Robin Hoods a bit lighter, though; you may not like this!

Robin: Did we need a Robin Hood origin story? Ridley Scott has given it to us anyway, a full 140 minutes of it. Both director and star Russell Crowe are in fine form here (as well is the rest of a stellar cast including Cate Blanchett as Marion Loxley, William Hurt, Mark Strong, and Danny Huston, among others), and the film has a lush look to it. The action sequences are thrilling (if a bit too few and far between), and few of the battles will certainly draw you right in. Max von Sydow arrives in the nick of time and provides much needed humor, depth and soul to the story.

Stealin’: But Robin Hood is likely to remind you a LOT of other movies, such as Gladiator, Braveheart and even the parts of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Obviously, with such similar themes that’s bound to happen; but some of it was too much (like Marion hiding behind a knight’s helmet on the battlefield and taking on the main bad guy). Actually Marion is a sore spot for me in general; trying to make her a strong-willed character it took me right out of the literal time of the movie – in THAT day and age, she simply would have been killed for behaving so.
The movie is also strangely loaded with characters, subplots, and double-crosses between noblemen; you may need a spreadsheet just to keep track of them all. And finally, Crowe is simply in Gladiator mode for most of this movie, a couple of moments of levity notwithstanding. I didn’t want to see him singing in tights necessarily, but I did want my Robin Hood to have a touch more merriment, and to not be so heavy.

Movie Grade: B-

Rated PG-13 for violence including intense sequences of warfare, and some sexual content.

Directed by: Ridley Scott
Written by: Brian Helgeland (screenplay & story) and Ethan Reiff & Cyrus Voris (story)

Rich’s Quickie: Maybe not a classic, but it’s also not Leap Year, either.

Letters: Surprise guys; when your young lady drags you to this one you may NOT want to slit your wrists. Letters was shot on location and the scenery lends to the romantic groove of the film, and star Amanda Seyfried is earnest in her portrayal of Sophie, a young lady somewhat adrift in her own love life while helping to steer others on that same stormy sea. There may not be many surprises here, but Letters has a sense of itself that keeps it from being too corny; there are times when Letters could walk right off the balcony, but it quickly catches itself before the fall. And when veteran Vanessa Redgrave shows up for the second act, the movie really finds its footing and leads you into its satisfying third act.

Scribble: The script is not without its scrawl. In the first act, Seyfried’s character comes off as a spoiled brat who understand the difference between traveling for business or pleasure, and who also can’t seem to have a good time in Italy without her man on her arm 24/7. And possibly because of that, the next acts are devoted to showing just how lousy her current overworking boyfriend Victor is (played by Gael García Bernal), paving the way for her to be okay with falling for Charlie (played by Christopher Egan). Apparently, all you need to do to win a woman these days (if we are to believe this and other movies such as Leap Year), is spend a few days with her in a foreign country, and try to treat her badly at first.

Movie Grade: B-

Rated PG for brief rude behavior, some language and incidental smoking.

Directed by: Gary Winick
Jose Rivera (written by) and Tim Sullivan (written by)

Rich’s Quickie: Kinda wrong.

Wright: A well-intentioned movie trying to tell the story of when bad people get in the way of good people getting together.

Rong: So what goes wrong with just Wright? Overall, it’s yet another romantic comedy with very little romance or comedy. Most of the romantic moves of Common’s Scott McKnight are directed toward a gold-digger so obvious in her intentions that he’s GOT to be a dope for being duped. Queen Latifah’s Leslie Wright is such a push over that she puts up with the aforementioned friend’s shallow gold-digging for years; even after Morgan Alexander’s Paula Patton hijinks, Wright is still buddies with her. Perhaps the problem is that this romantic comedy is rated PG, and adult relationships can be messy – at least PG-13 rated, with more adult-oriented issues. But since everything might need to be “okay” in the end, the whole movie has no consequences – and hence no tension – whatsoever. It is bland and gutless with very little drama or surprises.
And for crying out LOUD can we please NOT have mid-thirties something women whose sole goal in life is get a man? What YEAR is this?

Movie Grade: C-

Rated PG for some suggestive material and brief language.

Directed by: Sanaa Hamri
Writen by: Michael Elliot (written by)

Rich’s Quickie: A touch less thrilling, but a lot more filling.

Iron clad: IR2 gives you much of what you liked in Iron-Man, and a whole lot more. Robert Downey Jr. is in fine snarky, charming form as Tony Stark, millionaire playboy super-genius with a suit of kick-ass armor. IR2 has it all; great zingers and action sequences, and lots of glorious shots of the man in the iron suit simply flying through the air. It’s great entertainment; and with the origin story behind us, we can get into a much more meaty and dense storyline.

Chinks in the armor: Yes, it gives you a whole lot more – but maybe too much? Did no one learn the lessons of Spider-Man 3? There’s Stark dealing with the public admission of his private persona, and his relationship with Potts (and her becoming the active head of Stark Industries), we have S.H.E.I.L.D., Stark getting sickened by his super-powered heart, the balance in his relationship with his buddy Rhodey, a corrupt senator acting on behalf of a military who wants Stark’s armor, Stark Senior, Whiplash, Justin Hammer, Black Widow, Nick Fury… did you get all that? Well there’s more; like a brush with a classic Iron Man story line called “Demon in a Bottle”, dealing with Stark’s alcoholism.
The pace of the movie is bit off, possibly because of last-minute re-shoots as much as the overstuffed plot; almost the first half of the movie at once feels as though it slowly builds, chugging along a bit… while also being a disjointed and edited a little frenetically. When the action finally comes it is delivered in ample amounts; although a mid-point Iron-Man fight feels like a cheap excuse for… well; an Iron-Man fight (similar to the werewolf fight in “The Wolfman”). It also seemed to undermine the idea that Stark and his armor are special; anybody who puts one on (and it fits, and it’s powered without Stark’s chest-mounted power supply), can pretty quickly nearly master it and kick Iron-Man’s ass in the process. Luckily, the scenes providing the solution for his sickness also show that the Man is as unique as the Armor. But even with all of that a solid B+ that I would gladly pay to see again.

Movie Grade: B+

Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, and some language.

Directing: Jon Favreau

Writing: Justin Theroux (screenplay), Stan Lee (Marvel comic book), Don Heck (Marvel comic book), Larry Lieber (Marvel comic book), and Jack Kirby (Marvel comic book)

Rich’s Quickie: Watered down Discovery channel fodder.

The Deep: Pierce Brosnan narrates the English version of this wonderfully shot mini-movie; which looks amazing. It will introduce you to a few new fishy faces you’ve never seen on the big screen.

The Shallows: But Disney wusses out on so many fronts I’m not sure where to begin. If I thought anyone could broach the subject of the systematic polluting of the ocean, I thought Disney could do it in a way that would not alienate its core audience. But they only scratch the surface here, also barely mentioning other subjects probably deemed to edgy for Disney (such as evolution and global man-made climate change). Instead we are served up a regurgitation of “Life”, but without much of the interesting info; the incredible footage is instead peppered with open ended philosophical questions about our relation to the waters around us, and very little actual information about these wonderful creatures we see vividly displayed onscreen. A warning; some shots of the cycle of life may be disturbing to younger ones.

Movie Grade: C

Not-Rated.

Directing: Jacques Perrin, Jacques Cluzaud (co-director)

Writing: Christophe Cheysson co-writer Jacques Cluzaud… and Laurent Debas, and Stéphane Durand, and Laurent Gaudé and Jacques Perrin and François Sarano and…

Rich’s Quickie: Have your own back-up plan when seeing this movie.

The Plan: Get (very) sexy Jennifer Lopez and good-looking Alex O’Loughlin together onscreen, and show Lopez get impregnated and deal with getting (somewhat) fat. I truly think that was the plan.

Back up; way up: But add a lot of fake-drama over typical relation woes, potty humor and bodily fluid and you’ve got yourself a stew! Yes, in this movie we get to watch Lopez pee on a stick (and later watch her dog munch on said stick – yum!), then later watch that dog puke it all up on a carpet (and just in case you miss it, they’ll give you a close up), we also get to see her blood and vaginal fluids on the tips of probes and fingertips (again, with close-ups), as well as a rather graphic birth scene with a woman who, shall we say, somewhat eschews landscaping “down there”. The dog gets most of the good lines.

Movie Grade: C-

Rated PG-13 for sexual content including references, some crude material and language.

Directing: Alan Poul
Writing: Kate Angelo

Rich’s Quickie: A one note comedy that basically hits that note twice.

Life: James Marsden supplies most of the laughs in this unnecessary remake (starring as boyfriend of Zoe Saldana), who accidentally takes a hallucinogenic drug on their way to a funeral. Yes, they pretty much built a whole movie around this.

Death: And that storyline is apparently so funny they hit that note twice; as Peter Dinklage ends up swallowing some of the same drug at the same funeral. Hilarity was supposed to ensue, but was covered in extra subplots and storylines that weren’t nearly as engaging, and other jokes that involve Danny Glover playing a family patriarch who defecates on Tracy Morgan’s hand. Yep; Morgan) along with the filmmakers) are literally handing you a bunch of crap.

Movie Grade: C-

Rated R for language, drug content and some sexual humor.

Directing: Neil LaBute
Writing: Dean Craig

Release the Crappen!

Cash of the Titans: Combine the promises of nasty looking beasties with a built-in audience made up of nostalgic fans of the original, as well as fans of anything including swords and sorcery, topped off with yer basic action-adventure crowd, and Clash 2010 is bound to have a good opening weekend. Many of the monsters certainly look good enough, and the action sequences are thrilling for the most part; but that’s as far as I can go, for I’m one of Those People who like a little more that that, even in your standard action flick.

Clash of WHAT Titans? Yes, I expect a good opening weekend; but after that, I think word of mouth will slow those numbers, even with only mild competition from Date Night coming out the following week.
Firstly, Clash is being touted as 3D, but it has notoriously NOT been properly shot in 3D – it’s only been “upgraded” to something supposedly akin to 3D, and it shows. Images don’t look 3D so much as plastered on the screen right on top of the other image, with a noticeable “doubling” effect. That wouldn’t matter so much except that this is an effects movie, so they’d better be great effects, and they’re not. Another effects problem standout is Medusa; not looking too much better than her original stop-motion counterpart.
Additionally, all of the monstrous threats are dispatched fairly easily, with only the predictable thinning of the herd down to Our Hero, winding up with a tacked-on obligatory romance storyline for the ladies. And then there’s the main storyline…
Greek Mythology always involves petty, childish Gods, and the problems that arise when they turn on each other and their creations. It’s hard enough to stomach stories of such ridiculous small-mindedness when you actually STICK to the story. It’s worse when you care not a wit for the source material, and expect me to care to follow it.
If you are a fan of Greek mythology at all, check your love at the door, since the creators of this movie basically put everything you know into a blender and scrambled it for you onscreen (X3 anyone? Or virtually anything Fox does to its Marvel movies). Even what little I recall from school, I had problems with the changes; but after consulting with a real fan of such things (a one Valeri Merrell, for those of you in the know), she saw so much more…
Firstly, Danae was no one’s wife, and Zeus didn’t have a wrathful vengeance out against a king who wouldn’t worship him. He also didn’t disguise himself as another person; instead, he was a Golden Shower of Light (would’ve LOVED to have seen a Golden Shower get Danae preggers in a PG-13 movie). Instead, they steal a scene straight from Excalibur and get on with slaughtering the rest of the story. King Acrisius couldn’t kill Danae and Perseus without then encouraging the wrath of Zeus, so he did what he thought was the next best thing, and cast them into the sea. That being said, Perseus was discovered by a fisherman, who did raise him, but he always knew who he was because his mother was still alive – an integral part of the overall myth. Secondly, Io was a nymph and a priestess of Hera, who happened to be seduced by Zeus, and because of that she gave birth to Belus, who begat Danaus, who begat Hypermnestra, who begat Abas, who begat Acrisius… meaning that she’s Perseus’ ancestor! So, eww. Perseus had no ill-will toward the Gods, in fact, he prayed to them for help, and they loved to help him (which Zeus does a far amount in the movie up to and including a black — ?!? — Pegasus). Anyway, Andromeda and her family were from Argos in the movie, and in truth they were actually from Ethiopia – it was Perseus was originally from Argos. And there are no actual Titans IN Clash of the Titans 2010 (or in the original, either) – they are all dead, killed by the Kraken – by the time this story happens. Some clash.
I know this may seem all a bit much to the average viewer (and I’ve only scratched the surface, here), but to put it in perspective, think of Harry Potter, Twilight, Star Trek, or anything else you know really well and love. Now suppose you watch the next Twilight flick and they decide to make Jacob a woman, Bella a lesbian and Edward a midget half-brother of Laurent, and you’ll understand why Clash is so aptly named.
Then again, I might pay to see that version of Twilight.

Movie Grade: C-

Rated PG-13 for fantasy action violence, some frightening images and brief sensuality.

Directing: Louis Leterrier
Writing: Travis Beacham (screenplay) and Phil Hay (screenplay) & Matt Manfredi (screenplay); Beverley Cross (1981 screenplay)

Rich’s Quickie: Avatar-quality looks with humor and heart… and only a little bit of moralizing.

And How! Another in a series of high-quality, animated films for the whole family to enjoy from Pix- I mean, from Dreamworks! This cute film is so much fun that kids will love watching it (especially if they can keep the 3D glasses on for a quick 98 minutes), and so well-done that it’s enjoyable for adults as well – and that’s without sneaking in kid-inappropriate humor for the adult crowd. Additionally, if you want to see it in IMAX 3D, you’d better do it soon – The Clash Of The Titans is coming! Either way, Dragon is a well-rounded story populated by lovable characters (especially Toothless the main dragon in questions), with a timeless message that only the most cynical among us will resist enjoying.

Why? And those same cynics will no-doubt cite the message of this film, no matter how carefully delivered, or how lightly it tapped them on the shoulder; that even supposed enemies could just be misunderstood. That enemies who attack you might just be trying to protect themselves from a larger threat. That with a little understanding we all might just get along. Yes, the basic structure of the movie is an old one, and some of the characters are stock, but when done this well, I’d still accept just about any message it had to deliver.

Movie Grade: A-

Rated PG for sequences of intense action and some scary images, and brief mild language.

Directing: Dean DeBlois & Chris Sanders
Writing: Cressida Cowell (story), Dean DeBlois (screenplay), Adam F. Goldberg (writer), Chris Sanders (screenplay), and Peter Tolan (writer)

Rich’s Quickie: If you can handle its length and pacing (and the sins of the director), it satisfies.

Write: The term “Political Mystery” may not get your pulse racing, but this is one film to see, anyway. It is well written and well acted, especially by central figure Ewan McGregor (“The Ghost” himself!), but no less so than by a great supporting cast including Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Hutton, Tom Wilkinson, Kim Cattrall and Olivia Williams, among others. The Ghost Writer has its own sense of humor that keeps a possibly disconnected set of circumstances real and and humanizing the people, but it never seems out of place; it’s not as though someone engages in slapstick or pratfalls just to juice up the heady script. Instead, the humor seems the natural kind that occurs conversationally between friends, equals, or even the intellectual cat and mouse.

Wrong: And it needs that humor; it is a bit long at 128 minutes, and paced just a touch slow, although I didn’t’ mind it – just noticed it. It is also directed by notorious bad boy Roman Polanski, and it does drop a message or two here and there about the character of America. Still, it’s an enjoyable film that makes you actually care what happens to the political animals onscreen.

Movie Grade: B

Rated PG-13 for language, brief nudity/sexuality, some violence and a drug reference.
MPAA: Rated PG for some rude humor and language.
Director: Roman Polanski
Writer(s): Robert Harris (novel “The Ghost”), Robert Harris adaptation and Roman Polanski screenplay