Talking Pictures

Rich Bonaduce reviews “Dear John”

Rich’s Quickie: Oh, I so WISH someone had Dear John’d this movie instead of green lighting it.

Dearest: There’s so very little redeeming about this movie, except for the great Richard Jenkins playing a shy but high-functioning, possibly autistic father to Channing Tatum’s mostly shirtless John Tyree. Jenkins deserves better.

Porta Potty? This screenplay (by Jamie Linden, of “We Are Marshall” fame), based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks (of “The Notebook” – and he’s not gonna let you forget it, either!), brings together the worst aspects of everyone concerned…

- Tatum’s Tyree is a bit of dopey hothead with an attitude; his saving grace being his dad, whom he tends to get mad at.
- Amanda Seyfried’s Savannah Curtis says she has plenty of flaws, and does her best to show them; she actually marries someone (while in love with someone else), because at least THIS guy is so sickly (and with a disabled kid to boot), that at least she feels NEEDED. She also stands for one too many silly tantrums from Tyree to have much self-respect. What YEAR is this? Is any woman in romance movies a member of N.O.W?
- Henry Thomas’ Tim actually marries Savannah so that when he dies his autistic son will have someone to care for him. Nice. Luckily, Savannah’s the needy sort who gets off on such things, and Tim conveniently DIES early enough for Savannah and John to finally get together while they’re still relatively young.

This also may be first movie to seriously exploit 9-11 for dramatic effect. Apart from the fact that we now know we invaded the wrong country that had nothing to do with the September 11th attacks, nor did they have weapons of mass destruction, nor were we greeted as liberators, nor has the oil paid for the war, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah… STILL the banner of false patriotism is flown to keep our young lovers apart, even when John doesn’t really WANT to re-up. Add to all this some really forced fights between our young lovers, and you have a “John” that seriously belongs in the toilet.

Movie Grade: D+

MPAA: Rated PG-13 for some sensuality and violence.

Director: Lasse Hallström

Writers: Jamie Linden (screenplay), and Nicholas Sparks (novel)

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